It's El.e.men.ta.ry
Although behavioral conditions distract everyone from good healthy introspection...

 Jason`s kaleidoscope-like mentality never opposes possible questions...

 Regarding social tyranny, understanding verse...

 Wild xenophobia, & yanking zirconias...

Wednesday, July 09, 2003  

bored at work...

well, ive clipped off some vines from these building regulated plants in the office and stuck them in my arizona tea bottle filled with water. hopefully it will grow.

also, i rejected a trade offer in my fantasy baseball league. i was offered jose mesa and mark mulder for brendan donnelly and DONTRELLE WILLIS! i love saying that name.

i ate mickey D's for breakfast, and now i have the farts. my co-workers shall suffer.

my back hurts lately, i dunno what it is. i should probably work on my abs more to counter act my slouching-ness from playing too much CS.

posted by jason | 11:10 AM

 

garrett chan, where have u been niggarachi? how come u cant call a negro up? thats messed up, we boys! the only time i even know whats goin on with you is from reading your blogs. hit me up foo, i cant remember the last time i talked with you. sounds like you've been goin through some rough times based on ur last post. on a related note, i've always wanted to go to the shooting range! we need to hang out bro...

posted by jason | 11:01 AM

 

this is the funniest sequence of words i have seen in a very long time... gar, u always make me laugh dude...

"Life just loves to piss on me. If life were a man on the street, I'd chase him down and smash his face with a rusty pipe for the sheer pleasure of giving back what I've gotten. I'd stomp all over his bloated body for all the times the MF stepped on me, my feet doing a macabre cha-cha of wrathful glee played to the song of his snapping bone structure." - gar

my bad, not trying to laugh at ur pain...

posted by jason | 10:54 AM

Monday, June 09, 2003  

the number one, the shining sun, the arizona tea wit plum, with lows, there's highs, when high, your low, your breath smells like a plathanol, punk asses who perspire clothes become expired foes, and wake up with their senses dulled like they had an iron nose.

posted by jason | 10:56 AM

 

listen jack, diplomats be sittin fast in fishing slacks, so hit the sack, wake up tomorrow and kick some ass.

posted by jason | 10:46 AM

Wednesday, May 07, 2003  

a DUUU MAI!!! duuu ma mai!! an cuc! A DUUU MAI!!

posted by jason | 10:41 AM

Wednesday, April 09, 2003  

"It's amazing what five days can do for a guy's age. Jamie Moyer looked every bit of his 14,475 days when Oakland tagged him for six earned runs on April 2. But the 40-year-old hurler bounced back Tuesday, shutting down the Angels through seven innings. Some old folks turn to Depends when their control disappears, but Moyer thankfully needed only his changeup to keep things in order..." - Graham Hayes, ESPN Fantasy Games

posted by jason | 10:14 AM

Monday, March 10, 2003  

i cant believe i just paid $30 to fill up my maxima!!!

posted by jason | 1:54 PM

Wednesday, March 05, 2003  

20 signs your NBA team is tankin'

Maybe Bimbo Coles is just a little bitter. Or maybe NBA teams really do want LeBron James badly enough to deliberately lose games.

When he was released by Cleveland last week, Coles said that the 11-48 Cavaliers are dumping games to increase their odds of landing the top pick in the 2003 NBA draft ... and the franchise savior in King James that comes with it.



"As much as they say they're not trying to lose games to be in the LeBron James race, it's obvious they're trying to lose games," said Coles, who implied it's all part of management's master plan. "And that shows they're not very loyal to the players, especially to the veterans that deserved better. If this was the direction they were going in from the beginning of the season, they should've made that clear to the veteran guys so we could've moved on. It was so unprofessional."

So, should we trust a man named Bimbo? Are the Cavs just awful ... or are they working hard to "earn" the league's best record?

As a service to fans of the NBA's downtrodden, Page 2 offers its list of 20 signs that your team might be tanking games ... and we'll let you make the final call:

1. Franchise player holds press conference and asks, "What are we talking about? Games? We're talking about games, man? (laughter)"

2. Front office signs Isaiah Rider to a 10-day contract; discusses bringing in Manute Bol "to counter Yao Ming."

3. In postgame interviews, players speak of giving "100 percent" effort. Please -- everyone knows that "110 percent" is the accepted minimum.

4. After losses, players give mad props to their "Chief Evil Spirit" and "Dark Lord, Beelzebub."

5. Starting five demands press refer to them as "little people," not midgets.

6. Coach implements sophisticated "Parallelogram Passing" offense.

7. First 10 turnovers choreographed by Debbie Allen.

8. Players appear in PETA's "I'd Rather Lose To The Lowly Nuggets Than Wear Fur" campaign.

9. Coach's pregame talk consists mostly of railing on about what a bastard "the Gipper" was.

10. Team's leading rebounder is dealt to the Los Angeles Lakers for an autographed, poster-sized photo of Jeanie Buss, holding a pair of basketballs in a strategic location.

11. Their favorite play is the pick and rollover.

12. Coach sends out star player to stand in the lane for the mascot's trampoline-dunk act.

13. Throwback Night features the home team wearing Washington Generals uniforms.

14. Hummer-sized parking space appears outside player's entrance.

15. Mysterious four-point line appears on opponents' end of court.

16. Ignore Shaq, instead employing the curious Hack-a-Horry philosophy.

17. They trade for Vin Baker.

18. Billy Joel asked to sing the national anthem ... and drive the team bus.

19. Star center visits the Gold Club while in Atlanta and suffers a "groin injury" that sidelines him for two weeks.

20. Your point guard is named "Bimbo" and even he can see through your plan.

posted by jason | 1:44 PM

Tuesday, March 04, 2003  

whats lighter? a foam plate or a paper plate?

posted by jason | 1:34 PM

who.am.i?
phat.tastic//
an.ger.ing//
spe.cial skill//
co.horts//
es.cape.ness//
ar.chive//